Whether it’s fighting over toys, who gets to sit where at the dinner table, or even who had more bubbles in the bath, it can feel like your peaceful home turns into a war zone daily. And when you’re juggling work, laundry, meals, and everything in between, these constant battles can drain your energy and make parenting feel a little less joyful.
But here’s the thing: sibling rivalry is completely normal. And while we can’t erase it completely, we can manage it in ways that bring more harmony into our routines and even help our kids build stronger bonds.
Let’s walk through some easy, mom-tested strategies that have helped me and many of the families who use our products every day.
1. Recognize the Root of the Rivalry
First things first, most sibling fights aren’t really about the toy or the turn. They’re often about attention, fairness, or feeling like they matter just as much as their sibling.
This is especially true when one child is a toddler. Toddlers are in a stage where they crave independence but still need guidance. If there’s an older sibling in the mix, that child might feel overlooked as the toddler takes up more time and attention.
Understanding this can help shift how you respond. Instead of just separating them or reacting to the moment, try saying things like:
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“I can see you both want to help. Let’s find a way to do it together.”
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“It’s okay to feel upset. Let’s talk about it.”
2. Create Opportunities for Teamwork
One of the best things I’ve done at home is invite both my kids to help me, instead of asking one to wait. And our double learning tower has been a game-changer.
Whether I’m making muffins, washing veggies, or even just wiping the counters, both kids can safely stand side by side, involved and focused. It not only cuts down on fights about “who gets to help,” but it also turns regular chores into bonding moments.
A double learning tower is designed for two children, so there’s no pushing or arguing over space. And because they’re elevated to counter height, they feel included in your world, like the little helpers they truly are.
3. Rotate One-on-One Time
I know we’re all stretched thin, but just 10-15 minutes of solo time with each child can make a huge difference. No distractions. No siblings. Just undivided attention.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. Read a book, build a fort, or do one of their favourite toddler activities together. The key is making them feel seen and special.
Pro tip: Use a visual timer or set a kitchen alarm, so the other child knows when their “turn” is coming. This helps reduce whining and teaches patience.
4. Introduce Structured Play
Unstructured play is important, but sometimes, having too many open-ended toys or too much freedom leads to chaos. Structured toddler activities, on the other hand, give kids a sense of direction and purpose.
Here are a few rivalry-busting ideas:
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Color sorting: Give them baskets and coloured blocks to sort together.
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Kitchen tasks: Let them each be responsible for a different job—pouring, mixing, sprinkling. Again, a double learning tower comes in handy here.
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Build stations: Set up two small building areas with their own sets of blocks or magnetic tiles. They can build separately but show each other what they made.
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Climbing structure: A small indoor climbing set can help them release energy, take turns, and build confidence, plus it's a great way to redirect sibling tension into physical play.
These little setups not only reduce tension but also build cooperative play skills over time.
5. Talk About Feelings Often
Even if your child can’t quite express their feelings yet, they’re picking up on yours. Try using simple language to model how to express frustration and love.
You might say:
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“I get upset when I hear yelling. I like it better when we talk to each other.”
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“It’s okay to feel mad, but we can’t hit. Let’s find a better way.”
Over time, your little helpers will start using those same words, too.
6. Celebrate Team Moments
Whenever your kids do play nicely, share, or solve a problem together, celebrate it! You don’t need a sticker chart (unless you love those), just heartfelt praise can go a long way.
Say things like:
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“I love how you shared the crayons today.”
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“Look at how you both made that sandwich! What a great team!”
When you name the behaviour you want to see, they’re more likely to repeat it.
7. Set Boundaries (Lovingly)
Peace isn’t about letting them do whatever they want, it’s about creating a rhythm and setting clear limits. If toys are always causing arguments, rotate them out. If one child always interrupts, teach hand signals or code words.
Boundaries help kids feel safe. They learn that while feelings are okay, certain behaviours are not.
And remember, you’re not failing if you have to repeat yourself. Toddlers and young kids learn by repetition. You’re planting seeds that will bloom with time.
Final Thoughts from One Mom to Another
If sibling rivalry is wearing you down, just know you’re not alone. Every family has tough days. But with a few changes, some structure, and a whole lot of love, you can turn rivalry into routine and even into a little bit of teamwork.
At Mommy’s Little Helper Co., we believe in building products that support you and your growing family. We’re here to help you create meaningful moments with your little ones, even in the messy, noisy, real-life moments.
Ready to make sibling time more peaceful and productive? Explore our best-selling learning towers and other kid-friendly furniture designed for families. Shop now.
